Bump Got Gantified And More Crack
by ChloboShoka
Summary: A series of short fics written for Phoenix Wright Kink Meme and other drabbles. Various pairings and various prompts, including Gant praying and Kudo x Oldbag.
1. Bump Got Gantified

These are a series of Phoenix Wright Kink Meme drabbles and ficlets I have written. Most of these will contain crack and m/m pairs.

Disclaimer: Characters used are copyright to capcom.

Title: Bump Got Gantified

Rating: T

Pairing: Implied Gant/Manfred/Max if that counts.

Prompt: Max calls someone sweetie but they don't take it that well.

More Kink meme stuff. The prompt from this drabble was Max calls someone sweetie, but the person is not happy.

Bump Got Gantified

"Oops sorry sweetie," Max Galactica innocently said to the man he just bumped into. The man wore a blue suit and cravat. Next to him was a silver haired man in pink sunglasses wearing a bright orange suit. The man he bumped into glared at him with an evil look. It made Max gulp. "Look sweetie I said I'm sorry..."

"My oh my, any chance you are Max Galactica?" the man in the bright orange suit asked.

"Yes, thats me sweetie."

"The name's Damon Gant!" He shook Max's hand feeling the shine on his false nails. "This is our top prosecutor Manfred Von Karma. Come on Manny don't be grumpy say hello to the circus star."

"You are dispictual!" Manfred Von Karma snapped. Just as he dug into his pocket, Gant stopped him and patted his back. Manfred snapped: "We are wasting valuable time Gant."

"Let's sort this with a bit of swimming!" Gant suggested. "I know you love swimming Manny, don't deny it." Gant winked at Max, and Max's purple lips curled into a smile.

"That sounds fabulous," Max responded, "but I haven't got my swimming suit."

"Haha I got some spares in my crib," Gant chuckled. "Of course skinny dipping is acceptable in my pool."


	2. Twelfth Cup Of Coffee Ruined

Rating: T

Pairing: None

Prompt:Marvin shits himself in the middle of a trial and just carries on like nothing happened, pausing only to apologise on Diego's behalf when he pukes up his coffee from the horrible stench.

Twelfth cup of coffee ruined 

"What is that horrible smell?" Diego asked to the court. It smelt like spicy fresh rubbish mixed in vomit and mud. The sharp aroma raped his nostrils and he couldn't even drink his cup of coffee properly. Although he drank half his coffee, he spat out some vomit, that filled the cup again.

"May I ask what is going on the defense bench?" asked the district attorney, Lana Skye. "And yes, the smell is rather unpleasant."

Marvin giggled and the whole court stared at him. The judge sat holding his nose.

"Sorry," Marvin whispered to Diego. "My buttocks have a mind of it's own."

"You ruined my twelfth cup of coffee from this trial," Diego outrageously said, throwing his cup at Marvin. "So get the fuck out and clean yourself."

"This is rather embarrassing..." Marvin admitted.

"Mr. Armando there is no need to swear but... FUCKING HELL IT'S A BLOODY HORRIBLE STENCH. Bailiff, remove Mr. Grossberg from my court at once, and someone hurry to the supermarket and buy some frebreeze."

"I've got some frebreeze," the little girl next to Lana said. It was her younger sister, Ema Skye who held up a bottle of frebreeze.

"The court gives you permission to use it as much you can!" the judge gasped at Ema.

The moral of the story: Never ruin Diego's intimate sessions with his coffee. For he will go mad.


	3. Wendy's Dream

Rating: M but I don't know.

Pairing: Wendy/Miles

Prompt:Edgeworth puts Wendy Oldbag over his knee and spanks her till her crinkly arsecheeks explode with delight.

Wendy's Dream

Wendy Oldbag had the most amazing dream ever. It was the most uplifting experience of her life. She was at a loss for words for this dream, and she still was today. She knew Miles had a lot of fangirls and since she was most likely the oldest, she considered herself the best Miles Egdeworth fan.

The dream went on pretty quick; like a near death experience. Wendy remembered wearing a cat girl costume and having tea with Miles. Then suddenly Edgeworth put her fragile state over his knee and spanked. Wendy always loved spanking people, but she loved the thrill of tasting her own medicine. He was silent throughout the dream.

"Oh Egdey-Poo!" She repeated this line over and over again. She hadn't had an orgasm in forty years so her vagina might have been a bit dusty. The spanking felt as if it had gone on for hours and she loved it so much, hours run like a leopard dashing in the New York marathon.

She moaned as she felt her crinkly buttocks explode in happyness. That was when she woke up in bed with a picture of Egdeworth and Phoenix kissing on her pillow. Well, she put of picture of herself on Phoenix's head.

"Masturbation for the nation," Wendy muttered to herself.


	4. Gant Has The Fics!

Rating: T

Pairing: hinted Gant/Manfred but nothing too severe.

Prompt: Manfred is a Yaoi fanboy

Gant Has The Fics!

"Hello there Manny," the chief of Police, Damon Gant was looking very hyper as usual. He clapped his hands and then took some paper out of his pocket. "I have something you might like." He placed the file onto Manfred Von Karma's desk and waited eagerly for his response.

"What is it?" Manfred asked in a less cheerful tone.

"Well it's just some fan fics I printed out for you."

"Fan fics?" Manfred snapped. Damon could feel a pinch of delight in his voice.

"Well, I know you're into yaoi, and I heard you were a fan. There's one with Fagin seducing Oliver Twist, some Ash Ketchum and Gary Oak fluff, Phantom of the Opera and Roaul, Colin and Dickon cuddly in the secret garden, this one made me cry. And some random pairs you like."

"GIVE IT!" Manfred snatched the file at once, grinning excessively and became hooked onto the stories.

"Glad you like them," Damon responded. "Come to my crib at eight, and we can discuss yaoi in my swimming pool."

"That is an excellent idea," Manfred replied.


	5. Pleasing The Fans

Rating: T

Pairing: Klavier x Kristoph

Prompt: Gavincest.. bunny girl and cheerleader outfit~

Pleasing The Fans

"What on earth are you wearing?" Kristoph asked his younger brother, who's semi naked body had a bunny outfit wrapped against him. Pink fluffy bunny ears on top matching the dots around his bottom. "I think you look a bit... ridiculous, to be honest."

"Nein," Klavier replied, "I read a fan sight of mine, and they said they'd love to see me dressed as a bunny girl." He fiddled with his guitar whilst sitting on his brother's lap. "They also said they'd like to see you in a cheerleader outfit."

"How humorous," Kristoph chuckled, as if he could be dumb enough to wear a cheerleader outfit. "You wouldn't see me dead in that."

"Come on, baby!" Klavier tried to encourage him passing him a pink cheerleading suit, which Pearl Fey kindly donated. "It would be epic. For one night only," Klavier imagined, "The Gavin brothers cross-dressing. The girls would go mad!"

"If it's for one nightm than I'll do it..." Kristoph didn't really know what he was in for.

"YAY I love you!"

Five hours later, the brothers were in an environment surrounded by lights and fan-girls. Kristoph threw his pon-pons in the air, lifting his legs high, whilst Klavier embraced the fame and sung his heart out. He petted his brother's cheek and the fans cried more.


	6. I Hate Myself

Rating: T

Pairing: Maggey x Adrian

Prompt: Character A denies they are cute and character B says he/she is. This reminded me of Maggey x Adrian for some reason.

I Hate Myself

She detested herself.

All that Maggey could see in the mirror, was a useless girl who just gave everyone bad luck. Bad luck was her stalker and would never avoid her. Adrian Andrews was kind enough to let her sleep in her flat. Maggey's house was bombed by a terrorist attack.

"What do you think of this dress?" Maggey asked Adrian. She twirled to the sexy blonde in a violet silk dress.

"You look really cute," Adrian admitted. She patted her shoulders.

"I'M NOT CUTE DAMMIT!" Maggey screamed out in denial. She found herself to be hideous and a curse to everyone. At the same time, she was flattered and for it to come from a beautiful girl such as Adrian Andrews gave her a boost.

"I think you are!" Adrian told her, blushing in the process.

"Thanks," Maggey giggled back shaking of her fear. At last, Maggey finally found her small fortune in Adrian.


	7. Manfred's Experiment

Rating: T

Pairing: None

Prompt:"...Did Mr. Grossberg just _crap treasure_?!"

Manfred's Experiment

"...Did Mr. Grossberg just _crap treasure?!_" Udgey asked giving a mighty senile stare. Golden coins, pearl bracelets and jewels leaked out from his butt and fell out of his trouser legs. Manfred grinned as he clapped his hands, knowing he could snatch a guilty verdict whilst Marvin had this strange experience. His experiment worked perfectly, although he wouldn't use it again it was a brilliant one shot.

"I believe he is," Manfred responded pretending to be surprised. "I hope you've learned some lessons Grossberg."

"I'm sorry?" Marvin responded in a squeaky voice. He had no idea his buttocks had that sort of power. Although the place did stink and he did feel a bit wet.

"Lesson number one," Manfred spoke like a tutor, "Your stomach is a terrible place to hide coins and jewelry that you have stolen. Lesson number two, use the toilets provided. Lesson number three get checked up. Lesson number four: consider retirement. Finally lesson number five: for the love of God, go on a diet and lose weight."

"Mr. Von Karma does have a point," Udgey told Marvin. "Anyway it's verdict time."

"Objection!" Marvin cried out in a panicking voice. "It's too early!"

"Objection!" Manfred growled back. Manfred glared at Marvin, scaring him off quickly. "Go ahead and give your verdict."

"The court finds Ijizzin Mipants... Guilty. The court is adjourned." Udgey banged his gavel, and Manfred left the court a happy man.


	8. Dadda Fu

Title: Dadda Fu

Rating: T

Pairings: Gregory/Manfred

Prompt: AU situation with Greg and Manfred as a married couple who argue all the time, especially about raising their children, Miles and Franziska, but really love each other to bits.

Dadda Fu

"Manfred this is too much pressure for both of them," Gregory told his husband. Manfred was planning to pay for strict education Miles and Franziska. Miles, Gregory's son from a previous marriage, was having difficulties with mathematics. Algebra was the toughest for her. Meanwhile baby Franziska who was Manfred's youngest daughter from the wife he killed for committing adultery with a defendant in one of his cases, was swinging a skipping rope around.

"Nonsense," Manfred snapped. "It will benefit both of them."

"Manfred, Miles finds stuff like this really hard. I think the pressure will make him feel bad."

"Perhaps a special needs school then."

"My son is not retarded!"

"Algebra is very simple stuff," Manfred replied.

"To you it might be," Gregory snapped. "But Miles is only seven years old. You can't put him in so much pressure at once."

"Mild as ever Gregory." Manfred nodded as he placed baby Franziska on his lap.

"You're just getting old," Gregory muttered, "you are nearly fifty."

"Foo!" she cried out. "Fu fu fool! Dadda foolish dick." The skipping rope she was throwing around landed on Gregory's face. She looked up to Manfred and leaned on his chest and mumbled, "Fufu fool..." before falling to sleep. Franziska had just learned to speak her first word: _fool_. Perhaps it came from Gregory and Manfred's rows and using the word fool a lot. Gregory and Manfred still loved each other. Despite their strange attraction.


	9. Larry Wants It Up The Butz

Title: Larry Wants It Up The Butz

Rating: T

Pairing: P/E

Prompt: "I'm the gay in the village"

Larry Wants It Up The Butz

"Hey Nick, hi Milly!" Larry scurried over to the two men near the bench, hugging them and kissing them on the cheek. "I love the hat there Nick!" he exclaimed, patting on Phoenix's aqua hat. Miles stood, arms folded and tried to ignore Larry's golden leather hot pants and pink corset. He wished he had earmuffs every time Larry called him Milly. Phoenix's hand covered the eyes of the young girl sitting on his lap.

"Kidnapping children now are you Nick?" Larry asked. "Pedophiles are gross ya know."

"Larry..." Phoenix was speechless. "This is my daughter."

"Daddy I can't feed the ducks," Trucy squealed out.

"I am the only gay in the village." Larry shouted out in exitement. He flaunted his chest out as he pinched his own buttocks. Miles eyes widened, scared at Larry's pose he placed his palms over Trucy's ears.

"I don't think so," Phoenix chuckled.

"I know some gay people," Miles added.

"They're just pretending. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm planning to one day." Larry blew a kiss to the both of them. Phoenix couldn't help but laugh, but at the same time he didn't want him to become an influence to Trucy.

"I don't think you've noticed that Wright and I are an item," Miles told Larry.

"WHAT!" Larry yelled out.

"Please not in front of Trucy," requested Phoenix. He whispered to his daughter, "Sorry about him, Larry was a bit of a freak."

"It's okay," Trucy replied so innocently. "I saw Uncle Valant kiss Maximillion Galactica."

The three men didn't know what else to say.


	10. Gant Has A Prayer

Rating: T

Pairing: None

Prompt: "We're corrupting your children! ...Wait a minute, we ARE your children."

Gant Has A Prayer

The church was a pretty old building, but the masses and sunday choir were beautiful. Damon went to school with the priest once. So they were quite close friends. After mass they would go for an evening swim. The church has such a lovely swimming pool.

Father Bewbs was in Rome visiting the vatican and he gave Damon the task of looking after the pool during his absence. Being the lover of swimming he was, he accepted.

So after having fun with everyone in the pool, he went into the church, knelt to the stand and prayed.

"Dear all mighty father, incase you're wondering why I've been sinning lately. Just to let you know it's only temporary. We're corrupting your children!" Damon giggled and clapped his hands as he spoke. Then he remembered something, "wait, we are your children. Silly me. Well hope ya doing all right Goddy. I'll repent for my sins by inviting Udgey to the pool next time. Cheerio and Ahem."


	11. Inhuman

Title: Inhuman

Rating: M

Pairing: Glen/Marvin

Prompt: Fisting, mpreg and fluff

Inhuman

"Ah the days of my youth," Marvin sighed out relaxing to to sensation of Glen Elg's fist thrusting his backside. "It's like the fresh smell of lemons, just like you dear Glen." The essence of the lemon perfume from Glen's chest had enlightened his senses. Marvin held onto to his baby bump, clenching his eyes due to the baby kicking. Labour was certainly going to give the baby and his anal condition some grief. Of course it would all be worth it in the end. He had Glen by his side. He was a charming genius who was almost non human.

Although the main reason why Glen was fisting him, was if he got it deep enough, with the new drugs he's created, he could grow Marvin a vagina. Glen thought he was an adorable human being: so cuddly.

With each other, they forget that they are just human.


	12. Pearl's New Toy

Title: Pearl's New Toy

Rating: G

Pairing: Lisa/Pearl

Prompt: Pearl plays with Lisa's computer and instead of making it worse it gets even better than before.

Pearl's New Toy

"Please evacuate the room immediately," Lisa requested. Young Pearl Fey had been googling Disney Land for fifteen minutes and it could wreak the entire computer system if she stayed online for any longer. Pearl was treating it like a toy.

"But I need more information on Disney Land," Pearl responded in a cute childish voice. Lisa knew she had to be gentle. There was one thing she really hated: seeing children get upset. She thought the grand fair would make her happy.

"Disney Land is over fifty miles away," Lisa informed Pearl in a robotic voice. "I am sorry but the computers are not toys. The fair is approximately 21.345675343 feet away. Please enjoy yourself at the fair."

"WOW Computers are amazing!" Pearl had ignored Lisa and was hypnotized of the power of the internet. "Oh wow, what a pretty pink screen, I wonder what happens when I press this button." Lisa tried to stop her, but it was too late. The power had been cut. Loads of people could end up being unemployed because of this. They could get blamed for another global collapse. "Aww," Pearl sighed. "It died." Lisa showed fury with her death glare.

"For creating the power cut you have a charge of 1223455434 dollars," Lisa grinned as she spoke.

"Sorry," whimpered Pearl. The room had brightened and power had instantly returned. Lisa could feel her network going faster than ever before. She swore that it could be a new record for the company. Lisa's panic mode melted away as excitement blossomed.

"Apology greatly accepted" Lisa squealed. "You have not damaged the computer system at all. You've made it 65.5784754975984% faster. That is a new record."

"Wow!" Pearl squealed with Lisa.

"As a token of our appreciation, I will give you a hug, kiss and tickets to Disney Land," said Lisa.

"I accept!" Pearl shouted as she let Lisa carry her into her arms, hug her and kiss her. Pearl couldn't wait for the tickets for Disney Land. She knew who she defiantly wanted to bring.


	13. TwentyThousand Dollars

Rating: M

Pairing: Matt/Dahlia

Prompt: Matt violently rapes Dahlia and was too strong for her to resist. Dahlia gets her own back.

Twenty-Thousand Dollars

Her red hair flew all over the place whilst Matt thrusts into another sexual position. They had been at it for over an hour, Dahlia put up a good fight, but his muscles were too controlling for her fragile body to resist. She grits her teeth, moaning with his doggy grunts. Three broken nails with crimson nail varnish torn aside was besides her as Matt pinched her breasts with aggression.

She can see his eyes lusting for her dominance and her power. She tries to jump out of his grip, but fails from the force of his chest.

"Having fun there?" he growled.

"You will pay for this," Dahlia mutters with a bitter tone.

"How much?" Matt whispered in his ear. "Two dollars? Twenty dollars? Two-hundred dollars? Two-thousand dollars? Twenty-thousand dollars? TWO-HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS?" He gives a very painful trust and grins at her, and continues panting. She screams only to be silenced by Matt's forceful kiss.

She finds it disgusting that she's so turned on by this. The psychical pain meant nothing to her. Matt meant nothing to her. She didn't care much about the money, but since he's offering – she'll take it... somehow.

Dahlia whimpered and tears fell down her face. It was so easy to fake them. She hears him let out a quiet laugh as he jumped of her body. The climax was over.

Dahlia lay there in a pool of fluids. The guy stole her psychical strength but she vows to have it back. Dahlia will get it back. Her mind was sharper than the knife in his bag. He was too cowardly to kill her. If he wasn't a coward, she'd be dead now; eternally resting in a red puddle.

Watching Matt sit there with the bottle of brandy in his hand, she grins slowly for the first time in six hours. Matt finished his bottle and approached her. His eyes and grin fixed on Dahlia until he suddenly gasps for air. He holds onto his neck and his body drops to the ground. Dahlia didn't know and didn't care if he was dead. She grabs all the money he has and leaves.

She was twenty-thousand dollars richer.


	14. It's Just A Plant

Title: It's Just A Plant  
Pairing: Apollo/Trucy  
Rating: T  
Prompt: "Hold it! I don't want Charley to see."

It's Just A Plant

So Apollo was going to have sex with his sister again. Where the hell did his sense of law run off to, he thought.

"Hold it!" Trucy scurried over to the plant, and moved her magician equipment over so the green plant was out of their sight. "I don't want Charley to see."

"Trucy," Apollo said looking at his half-sister weirdly. "It's just a plant."

"Too you it might be a plant," Trucy responded almost snapping at Apollo. "But to Daddy and I, he's a good friend and we have to take care of him." Apollo could no longer see the vivid green spikes that formed Charley. "I think plants hate incest."

"Well, haven't you just blocked the light for Charley?"

"He'll be all right," Trucy replied. "We'll move everything back once we're done."

"That's if we get a chance," Apollo mentioned. Apollo didn't actually mind doing her sister since neither of them were in a relationship. They had a one night stand before they found out they were related but it didn't stop Trucy trying to seduce him when she had the chance to.

He didn't want to have sex in Wright's office. The last time they had sex in an office was when Phoenix caught them kissing. Needless to say: he was embarrassed because his old friend Maya Fey was with him too.

Trucy kissed him, and he had no choice but to succumb. He knew Phoenix would get pissed off if he upset Trucy. Besides, plant's can't talk nor hear.


	15. A Father's Method

Title: A Father's Method  
Pairing: Hinted Apollo/Klavier  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Godot hides Klavier's hair gel and beauty kit. He also steals his Hello Kitty plushtoy and holds it hostage.

A Father's Method

Nobody was going to sexually harass his son and get away with it. He didn't care how sexy Klavier was. He had enough of the blond rock-star grabbing onto Apollo's ass every twenty seconds and teasing the hell out of him. He wouldn't have cared if Apollo was gay, but he was straight. Klavier was already dating Ema and perhaps another person they didn't know about. He didn't care what sexual disease he had as long as he didn't give one to his son. Now things had to be settled into his own hands. Klavier's hair-gel and beauty kit was in the back of his car. Klavier's Hello Kitty teddy lay next to the driver's seat.

She looked like the same as every other Hello Kitty he saw, a simplified cat face, wearing a pink dress with a red ribbon on her right ear. The only difference was that this one was covered in chains and had G engraved on it's pouch. He would laugh if Klavier causes a fit.

Now he could use with a bit of dark coffee. no choice but to succumb. He knew Phoenix would get pissed off if he upset Trucy. Besides, plant's can't talk nor hear.


	16. Turns To Teach

Title: Turns To Teach  
Pairing: Wocky/Pearl  
Rating: T  
Prompts: I merged two microfills I did into one drabble. The first prompt was Wocky teaching Machi gangster talk and the second was anything with Pocky in it.

Turns To Teach

Wocky Kitaki was a lucky man. He was filthy rich without even getting a job, other than working at his dad's pie shop around five times a month. He was lucky to be still alive after what his ex did to him, on top of the bullet in the heart. Not only that, but Wocky had one of the most graceful girlfriends in town. Only God knows why Pearl Fey started dating Wocky. They just seemed to hit off the moment they laid eyes on each other. They've both been through some shit, but at least they can get thought it together.

He also befriended a pianist, Machi Tobaye when he got arrested for criminal damage. He was quite good on the piano, and was nice enough to teach Wocky how to play, even though he would never be as good as Machi, it was worth a try. Pearl managed to play the piano better than Wocky did. It seemed only fair that Wocky taught him how to teach the gangster lingo. So the pair of them were outside, close to the Kitaki mansion. Pearl also joined in, she didn't mind Wocky teaching him gangster talk as long as there was no foul language. Pearl hated swear words.

"I am the piano good of gangsters," Machi said. He liked the way Wocky talked and tried to copy it but failed miserably.

"This how ya do it...YEAH MOTHER FUCKERS!" Wocky yelled out.

"YES MAMA FUCK IT UP THE ARSE!" Machi thought it would make a good effect. Wocky laughed so hard at Machi's bad gangster talk. Pearl stood behind Wocky, arms crossed with a look of disdain. Her fists vibrated to the temptation of hitting her boyfriend.

"SMACK THAT!" Wocky roared over to a member of a rival gang crossing the brigde. His middle finger up at the obese lad. "LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT!"

"SMOOCHAA!" Machi screeched, and the person ran away. Wocky and Machi chuckled in unison, until Pearl slapped them.

"I'm going to teach you both some manners!" Pearl announced with determination!


	17. Harmless Selfcest

Title: Harmless Selfcest  
Pairing: Bratworth/Edgeworth and implied P/E and Feenie x Phoenix  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Bratworth x Edgeworth

Harmless Selfcest

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Phoenix asked, louder than his fierce objections in court. He saw his boyfriend, Miles Edgeworth skinny dipping with is arm around another man: his younger self.

"It's just a bit of selfcest Wright. It's completely harmless."

"You're cheating on me!" Phoenix barked in anger.

"Objection!" The younger Edgeworth spoke out. He wagged his finger at Phoenix, just like how Von Karma used to do it. He could understand, since he was under heavy influence with him at the time. "We are both the same person, so you can say it's equivalent to masturbation."

"But it's not mastu-" Phoenix couldn't bring himself to finish.

"We love you very much," both Miles spoke in unison.

"I love you both too..." Phoenix said quietly. "I guess I overreacted then."

"Yes you did," the present Miles spoke.

"Why don't you join us?" Bratworth offered. "There's plenty of room."

"Sure, why not?" Phoenix got out of his lawyer suit and threw it near Edgeworth's clothes. Before he got a chance to take his boxers off... he heard a familiar voice.

"DOLLIE!"

The three of them paid attention to the young man in his late teens walking around. He had a pink sweater on like the one Phoenix used to wear. His voice matched his too. It couldn't have been Feenie, could it?

"Have you seen my Dollie?"

It was Feenie.

"You played with dolls in your twenties Phoenix?" Miles asked. Bratworth glared at the pair of Phoenixes.

"He means my ex-girlfriend..." Phoenix whispered to the pair of them, obviously not wanting to upset his younger self.

"Wow we look like twins!" Feenie shouted in glee to Phoenix. "Anyway, have you seen a pretty lady in a white dress, a pink parasol and black hair in braids?"

"No I haven't," Phoenix replied. He'd rather not go into it.

"There's a girl matching your description in jail," replied Miles.

"Don't break my younger heart Miles," Phoenix hissed at Miles. Meanwhile his younger self was touching him from head-to-toe like the Bedroom-God he used to be. As he got later into his career as a prosecutor, he let the Bedroom-God faded into a professional prosecutor. Of course, only Phoenix has seen Miles Edgeworth's bedside manner in the past five years.

"He deserves the truth," Miles snapped back. "And Bratworth, please don't squeeze too hard." Phoenix laughed when Miles spanked Bratworth, but in a way he loved it: it was quite hot.

"You were nicknamed Bratworth?" Phoenix teased.

"At least it's more appropriate than your silly nickname."

Phoenix had a feeling that he was going to end up making out with his younger self. Perhaps watching Bratworth trying to dominate Miles inspired him.


	18. Maya's Prank

Title: Maya's Prank  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Implied Maya/Franziska and Payne/ Foxy  
Prompt: Someone spikes Winston's tea with Viagra.

Maya's Prank

"Maya Fey this is foolish!" Franziska snarled. Ever since Phoenix was disbarred, Maya enjoyed pranking people. Klavier Gavin was the main victim, but it was others too. She'd put a whoopi cushion on the judge's seat, put salt in Kristoph's tea and replace autopsy reports with fan fiction printed from the internet. Franziska's seen it all, but now she was really pushing it.

"It's not foolish; it's fun!"

"If you wanted fun, I can gladly give you some."

"Thanks Franziska," Maya said with a grin. "How much of this Viagra should I put in then?"

Franziska gave a strict firm answer: "None." As much to her chagrin, Maya ignored Franziska's answer and put about nearly all of it in. Stirring it in until the tea looked average. "You really are a fool."

Maya giggled when she twirled round to kiss Franziska on the cheek. "We've got just enough for Miles to have hot sex with Nick tonight. And we should find some more good stuff at the Steel Samurai Kink Meme too." Franziska whipped Maya and then dragged her out of the office. "No Franziska, I wanna see it Payne faps to Steel Samurai!"

"STOP BEING FOOLISH!" Franziska demanded. "WE'RE GOING TO MY OFFICE WEATHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"

"Good afternoon ladies."

It was Winston Payne. Franziska thought the color of his suit was foolish and his hair even more foolish. Bold on the top, with a stripe in the middle and either side still growing. They said hi back as he walked into the office, smiling at his tea cup.

"Why did you put Viagra in his tea in the first place?" Franziska whispered to Maya.

"Cause Mr. Armando told me too."

"What a foolish excuse." Instead of helping, Franziska and Maya stood there whilst Payne slurped his tea down. And for the rest of the day Payne had been giving various women dirty looks which made Maya giggle. Although she had to cool Franziska down after he groped her breast.

"Hello there Foxy," Winston announced to his wife. Without another word he fell into his chest and Foxy captured him. "It's been a wonderful day and nothing is more wonderful than coming home to you my dear." Winston removed his tie and took his wife's hand into the bedroom.


	19. Potential Crack Addict

Title: Potential Crack Addict  
Rating: T  
Pairing: One sided Meekins/Angel  
Prompt: Meekins reads twilight and thinks acting like Edward will make him get a woman.

Potential Crack Addict

"Are you afraid?" Meekings growled to Angel. "You are my personal brand of heroine."

"I hope that's your only drug," muttered Angel.

Pearl dashed over to Meekins and slapped him around the face. She hated the shirt he was wearing. She thought it was disgusting and vile. The face of a creeper was on it, the face of the worst fictional character in the world according to Pearl, Edward Cullen. She much preferred Jacob, she hated what Meyer did to him in Breaking Dawn. She hated Edward x Bella, she hated Edward, and hated anything with Team Edward on the back of it. She giggled as Meekins landed on the floor crying like a hungry dog.

"What did you do that for?" Meekins screeched.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR WEARING DISGUSTING T-SHIRTS!" Pearl yelled. "Your T-shirt promotes pedophilia, rape and crime. And Jacob is much more nicer."

"He's the pedophile! He promotes bestiality and pedophilia; not Edward!"

"Here are my two cents," Adrian interrupted. "Personally I think Edward and Jacob are as bad as each other. So I'm Team Alice because she's more better for Bella. And Bella and Alice are cute together."

"YURI FOR THE WIN!" yelled Angel.

"You all fail!" Pearl yelled. Running away, she cried her eyes out until she found out Maya was pregnant with Phoenix's kid.


	20. Trucy's The Cutest When She's Sad

Rating: T  
Pairing: Phoenix/Iris  
Prompt: Phoenix and Iris are married and their child is Dahlia's reincarnation, and even though the child doesn't have her memories, she seems to instinctually hate his/her parents. I'd love it if the kid is cold and calculating instead of overtly bratty. MY SOUL if the kid plots to have Phoenix and Iris killed. If this sounds like the premise to a horror movie... good. :P

Trucy's Cutest When She's Sad

My parents disgust me. I've always hated them from the moment I was born. I hate my sister Trucy, cause she's an annoying slut into witchcraft. She thinks it's acceptable to go around flashing her horrible panties about to everyone. Then she goes and kisses every Tom, Dick and Harry on the street. She even tried it on with her brother the filthy whore. I wouldn't be surprised if she uses her puppets as sex toys.

My dad's hat was gross and retarded. Honestly, how can anyone count on him for anything. He never keeps my secrets and always forgets things. And mother annoys me. Everyone wants a mother like her. They don't know the true side of her. She's nothing but a cheating backstabber. The sugary bullshit she speaks is all an act. She cries like a big baby.

I guess just a little bit of poison will do my family good.

Lately, Trucy's been less annoying, but I still hate her guts. She's been down ever since I got Apollo jailed. Of course that douche bag wouldn't hurt a fly, but I love making Trucy cry. It makes her look so epic and she's at her cutest.

I want to scar Trucy forever, so she can be even more cute. There are so many ways I want to kill my parents, the only question is which way? Should I kill them together or apart. Should I kill one, and make it look like the other committed suicide out of guilt. If Apollo hadn't been jailed. I would just pinned it on him. But I can't have everything.

All the poisons I've collected over the months, I've been hiding them all in Daddy's room and he's still dumb to notice. I guess he's the one I can make it look like he committed suicide. Yep, it would be better to kill Iris off first, seeing her cry makes me feel so sick I want to vomit.


	21. Law Is For Losers

Rating: G  
Prompt: The Phoenix Wright version of this video: / watch ? v=vzpD6OogahQ

Law Is For Losers

When Terry Fawles slumped over as dead as a doornail, she walked out of court with a child's smile on her face. Her red hair flow around as she skipped with the greatest content. She was surrounded by milk-white butterflies that flew around her parasol.  
_"I'm Dahlia Hawthorne.  
Law is for losers.  
I'm totally awesome."_

She sung in a sweet charming voice. She repeated herself in her melody until she was stopped by a crying brunette in black. It was Mia Fey -- the woman who almost got her arrested.

"Miss Hawthorne," Mia hissed. "You won't get away with this, I'll get you behind bars..."

Mia's fierce words were invisable to Dahlia's ears. She walked up kindly and punched Mia in the nose. Then continued to skip along the rainy road as happy as can be.

_"I'm Dahlia Hawthorne.  
Law is for losers.  
I'm totally awesome."_


	22. My Sister Has A Nice

Pairing: Apollo x Trucy  
Rating: M  
Prompt: Apollo/Trucy. Her panties get stolen again, so she's going commando. She just felt like sharing.

My Sister Has A Nice Ass

"I can't find my magic panties?" Trucy moaned. Well, she didn't exactly moan she seemed quite happy to flash her buttocks to her brother. He cringed and blushed at the same time: Apollo was wearing Trucy's magic panties. He had no real reason to wear pink polka hearted panties, he just thought it would give him some luck in court today. The thing is, Trucy has no idea that Apollo is wearing them right now. The guilt in his erection made Apollo unable to forgive himself. His own penis was throbbing for his sister.

After a few minutes she walked around the house with nothing but a bra on. The pink one was wearing was her favorite and Apollo liked it too. Both cups had a lovely floral pattern that resembled lips besides a petal.

"My sister has a nice ass," Apollo muttered to himself.

"What did you say Polly?" Trucy asked in curiosity.

"Oh nothing," Apollo replied. "Don't worry." His bracelet vibrated to his own lies and Trucy glared at him as if lair has been written on his forehead.

"You said I had a nice ass," Trucy snapped. Then her angry posture melted into a seductive pose where her muscles relaxed and her fingers fiddled onto Apollo's tie. "Didn't you?" Trucy giggled.

"Y-yeah... I MEAN NO I NEVER SAID..." After a few moments of stuttering, the confession finally jumped out of his mouth. "YES!" There was hardly anypoint trying to stop his dick go hard now. His heart thumped and his fingers crawled onto her chest. As much as he hated acting like a pervert, Apollo struggled to resist Trucy. Their lips met in a fire of passion. An intense lip-lock followed by a tongue tango.

Apollo knew the love affair was bonkers, he was sleeping with an underaged girl, who was her sister. But it all seemed to melt away every time Trucy kissed him, touched him and stripped him. She had a magical dominance on him and she had won once again. Everything felt intimate until Trucy pulled down his pants. His stomach churned as he gulped.

Trucy discovered the second thief to her panties.

"SORRY TRUCY!" yelled Apollo. "I thought they would give me good luck."

Instead of anger, he heard a seductive giggle and felt hands around his groin. "Nothing to worry about Polly, we can share them."

He wouldn't mind seeing her ass again.


	23. Two Oldbags

Pairing: OldBag x Kudo  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Niggers. That is all.

Two Oldbags

"Would you believe it?" Victor Kudo asked Wendy. "The cheek of them!"

"I know exactly how you feel Victor," said Wendy grabbing onto his knee. "Them naughty whippernsnappers need a good smack on the bottom."

"You have no idea how much I second that quote!" Victor announced. "Help yourself to some mince pies."

"Aww, you're too kind."

"Anything for a lovely woman like you." Victor blushed harder than he's ever had for the last twenty years. It was refreshing to see a woman who had the same opinions as him.

"You hear about that lawyer, Apollo Justice?" Wendy asked.

"He's a dirty man!" Victor announced. "What happened to the good old days when we had epic lawyers like Phoenix Wright, Marvin Grossberg and Chuck Norris."

"Phoenix Wright's the one that's dating my Edgey-Poo!" Wendy announced in a soothing tone. "Too bad I don't see them around anymore."

"About that Apollo Justice," Victor snapped. "He should change his name to Apollo Manwhore."

"WHAT'S HE DONE?" Wendy roared with curiosity.

"He's been at it with that rock-star prosecutor, eyeing up on those waitresses, kissed a girl in the circus; but that's only the start of it. Here's the icing on the cake..."

"What is it?" Wendy asked in determination. "He sounds nasty."

"HE WAS AT THE WONDER BAR THE OTHER DAY DOING HANKY PANKY WITH HIS SISTER!"

"THE DIRTY BASTARD! Did you know he hangs round with gangsters too."

"That Wocky Kitaki?" Victor asked. "I hate that beastly excuse of a human. He tripped me up and I fell in a muddy puddle and he called me a nigger."

Wendy gasped, her eyes seethed in anger as her teeth gritted to the music of her anger. "How cruel!" she cried out. "My Victor you deserve much better. Them whippingsnappers should learn to wash their mouths out; the whole lot of them!" Wendy raised her glass and shouted, "And bring the whips back."


	24. Tropical Hair

Pairing: Mimi x Ini  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Hair.

Tropical Hair

Ini cuddled up wit Mimi as her nose indulged into her hair. Unable to control herself, Ini said: "Your hair is like... like totally long, silky and tropical."

"Tropical?" Mimi asked.

"Like your tropical smell like makes yur nurse outfit like refreshing. It's like totally beautiful."

"Thanks for that."

"No problem sis."


	25. Euphoric

Pairing: Godot x Lamiroir  
Rating: T

Euphoric

"You're my kitty," Godot whispered in the dark. Red lights shined onto her fragile body. The way she moaned was euphoric: an orgasmic tune. "Everything about you is beautiful." He trusted into her harder and in a much more faster tone.

"Ah!" Lamiroir cried out to the sensation. It was one that she had dreamt of so many times, and she had yet to feel it for herself. It was like stepping into time. She never knew Godot as Lamiroir but his scent and his deep voice sounded familiar. But neither of them could tell by their sight, only by their voice. Both of them were blind, the darkness had dominated their eyes. Godot lead Lamiroir with his visor and cradled her.

She was Godot's last hope. If she failed to protect Lamiroir like he failed to protect Mia, he found no reason to live. Fucking her made all the bitterness go away and made the coffee taste exquisite.

How could he say no to her?


	26. Hat

Pairing: Phoenix x Iris  
Rating: T  
Prompt: "Hobo!Phoenix/Iris. fluffy cuddles on the couch or in bed. Bonus points if Iris is wearing Phoenix's PaPa hat."

Hat

"Sit down," Phoenix told Iris. laid comfortably on the sofa with his legs open wide to give some room for Iris. She sat down in glee, as she held onto his hand. It had been some years and her precious Feenie had changed so much over the years, but he was still the kind and caring Feenie she had fallen for. She had the best six months of her life dating Phoenix whilst posing as Dahlia. She had hoped one day Feenie would come to respect her as Iris.

"It's so wonderful to see you again." Iris threw her arms around Phoenix's neck, her fingers delicately curled around his gray hood. Just like she always wanted to.

She was fascinated by his hat. She really liked it; it was a bright blue hat with a yellow smiley face attached and in shocking pink papa was printed. She thought it was really sweet.

"Nice to see you too."

"Feenie... can I try your hat on?"

"Sure." Phoenix removed his hat. His hair was ruffled and anything but the wild spikes Iris remembered but she didn't mind. The hat slipped into her hands and Iris quickly placed it on her head. The pair of them giggled and got in a cuddly mood again.

"I really like your hat, Feenie." Iris rested on Phoenix's chest as she spoke, "really stands out well."

The hat made a really strong contrast to her purple robes and raven hair, they hid her platted scalp well. She blushed and smiled which lifted up Phoenix more.


	27. Larry Tango Gold

Pairing: Larry/Alita/Adrian/Iris/Maya/Ema/Mia/Trucy/April/Maggey/Franziska/Morgan/Dee/Elise  
Rating: T  
Prompt: OP just wanted something with Larry in it. So I wrote a parody of Mambo No 5 

Larry Tango Gold

Larry: They say, when something smells it's usually the Butzs, I like a woman's butt. Well ladies and gentlemen this is Larry Tango Gold

Verse 1  
Hey Dee! Hey Morgan! Everybody's in the car so come on let's ride.....  
On my fine liquor around the corner.  
Elise says she wants Trés bien tonight, but I really don't wanna.  
Armstrong like I had last week.  
I must stay deep 'cause talk is cheap.  
I like Alita, Adrian, Iris and Maya.  
And as I continue, you know they're getting hotter.  
So what can I do? I really beg you my Lord.  
To me flirting is just like a chore.  
Anything fly, you're all a star.  
Please set it in that base guitar.

Chorus  
A little bit of Ema Skye in my life,  
A little bit of Mia Fey by my side.  
A little bit of Maya's all I need,  
A little bit of Trucy's all I see  
A little bit of Iris in the sun,  
A little bit of April all night long.  
The breasts of Franziska here I am,  
A little bit of you makes me your man!!!!!!!!  
Larry Tango Gold

Verse 2  
Hump up and down and move it all around.  
Shake your hips to the sound, put your hands on the ground.  
Take one step left and one step right.  
One to my front and one to my side.  
Spread your legs wide, and bounce your boobs trice  
And if it's erect like this then you're doing it right.

Chorus  
A little bit of Ema Skye in my life,  
A little bit of Mia Fey by my side.  
A little bit of Maya's all I need,  
A little bit of Trucy's all I see.  
A little bit of Iris in the sun,  
A little bit of April all night long.  
The breasts of Franziska here I am,  
A little bit of you makes me your man!!!!!!!!

Bridge  
Rock on Klaiver, the guitar!  
Larry's tango is fine, ha, ha, ha.

Chorus  
A little bit of Ema Skye in my life,  
A little bit of Mia Fey by my side.  
A little bit of Maya's all I need,  
A little bit of Trucy's all I see.  
A little bit of Iris in the sun,  
A little bit of April all night long.  
The breasts of Franziska here I am,  
A little bit of you makes me your man!!!!!!!!

Outro  
I would make love, and fall in love with girls like them.  
Cause they can't run and they can't hide.  
Me and them are gonna touch the sky.  
Larry Tango Gold


	28. A Court Proposal

Pairing: Phoenix/Edgeworth  
Rating: T  
Prompt:Edgeworth proposes to Phoenix. IN COURT. Bonus points if the Judge was completely unaware of their relationship.

A Court Proposal

"I've had enough this nonsense, Wright." Edgeworth announced.

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix snapped slamming his arms against the table, "you cannot deny how much this evidence proves the defendant's innocence."

"OBJECTION!" Edeworth barked. "I was about to say something else."

"What?"

"Phoenix Wright," Edgeworth announced, "will you do the honour of holding my hand in marriage."

"Is that a marriage proposal, Edgeworth?" the Judge asked, astounded by Edgeworth's random proposal.

"Yes it is."

"I SHALL MARRY YOU!" Phoenix replied. Everyone in the court were whispering in shock as the noise level grew. The Judge had no choice but to put his hammer down.

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" Judge demanded. "I have seen it all," the judge announced. "But never has anyone proposed in my court toom. Quite nice, but I had no idea that the defense and the prosecution were an item."

"For quite a few years," Phoenix responded scratching his back.

"Oh my!" The Judge fainted in an instant.


	29. Perfection Deserves Rewards

Title: Perfection Deserves Rewards  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Maya x Franziska  
Prompt: "I'm tired of reading all this "Adrian topping" bullshit, and about an insecure Franziska in relationships and bed. I'm sick of Maya coming onto her with her cheerful demeanor and Franziska being completely flustered by the girl's advances. No, Franziska is dominant in court, life, and bed! I suppose it would be okay as long as we return Franziska to her rightful place as the queen of domination! Nobody shall ever top Franziska again!"

Perfection Deserves Rewards

Perfection deserved it's rewards. A dashing meal with fine wine, limousines and lots of pampering. Franziska found she deserved it after hard work in trials. The hotel she was staying at was lovely. A pleasent view of the wondering sea and the melody of seagulls made her feel like this was a vacation.

Then there was Maya Fey tickling her. At first she thought she was a foolish fool; she still thinks that but in an adorable way. No! Something wasn't right, thought Franziska and she was not having it. She would never let a man dominate her like this, so why let Maya crawl on top of her? Franziska wanted the to be at the top, and the top she will stay.

She pushed Maya off her. Hearing Maya's gasp, Franziska grabbed Maya's breasts as soon as she could and pinned her to the bed. Franziska fondled Maya's black locks of hair and smirked. "This feels much better!" she exclaimed.

"F-Franziska..." Maya moaned. "You're holding on me really tight. Can't I get back on top?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I am Franziska Von Karma!" she announced shaking her blue hair. "I'm dominant in the court, and I will be dominant in the bedroom!" She spoke with fierce order, and she loved it. And Maya had better be loving it.


	30. Adding What In The Stock?

Title: Adding What To The Stock  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

Adding What To The Stock?

"Jean?"

"Oui, oui?" Jean yelled in glee.

"I don't think you should add perfume or cum in the stock," Iris told Jean.

"Mon cher," said Jean. "They are both moi own brand. I feel I should add my heart and soul into my cooking."

"I understand, but if your costumers knew you add perfume and cum to your stock, they might be a little frightened to come."

"I think we can get away with it," Jean smiled. He squashed Iris in his arms. "I've always done it this way."

"Why don't you add chicken in the stock?" suggested Iris.

"How about letting moi add some oh la la to your life," Jean smirked bouncing his belly onto Iris. "You are so beautiful. I would so go lesbian for you."

"Jean?" Iris fainted, flustered in Jean's arms.


	31. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Title: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Apollo x Regina  
Prompt: Regina Berry believes kissing gets you pregnant.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

"I'm having a baby!" Regina squealed.

"?" Moe screamed. He even fell of his chair. Never in his life would he though he would here it coming from Regina's mouth. He didn't think she was going to grow a genuine baby bump yet, but this was Regina. She had the mindset of an innocent child for years, and she's now twenty-five. "No no no no no no no," he erupted.

"It is true," giggled Regina. "I kissed a cute guy named Apollo and now I'm carrying his baby."

Moe's eyes could almost pop. She believed that kissing made babies at the age of 25. She was dumb and out of this world, but that was what he liked about Regina. She was a unique fun person to be with. There were times she needed a slap on the face, but she's a sweetheart.

If only she had a little more reality in her.

"Max won't get angry right?" Regina asked curiously.

Then Moe wondered how many boyfriends did Regina have? If it there are more people involved, God help her. And Russell would not have approved, he's going to have serious words that's for sure.

"You're not having a baby..." told Moe, and then he was out of words.


	32. Curious

Title: Curious  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Valant x Thalassa  
Prompt: Valant/Thalassa. Or Valant/Zak. Or Valant/Thalassa/Zak. In any order. I don't even know, I just want Troupe Gramarye action. Hell, throw Magnifi in there somewhere if you really want to.

Curious

"One thing I'm curious about Valant," Thalassa said.

"What's that?" Valant asked trying to resist the urge to fondle her white dress and brown hair. She even had the voice of an angel. Even after everything she did; cheat on both husbands, abandon her son, and losing her memory and eyesight, in Valant's eyes Thalassa would forever be the queen of his heart. He secretly hoped that her daughter would one day call her daddy too.

"Before I was shot you said you had something important to say. What was it?"

"I love you," he whispered, lowering his head down and kissed her lips.

"That's very sweet."

And now Valant can fondle her for the the first time in his life. The sexual hunger would finally be satisfied.


	33. Cooler In The Red Dress

Title: Cooler In The Red Dress  
Rating: G  
Pairing: Miles x Maya  
Prompt: Miles/Maya valentines drabble for the MitsuMayoi community.

Cooler In The Red Dress

Slender in a little black frock, Maya felt cooler in the red dress. Miles, who kindly accepted Maya's shopping invitation, nodded. His eyes flickered at the pleats of the crimson dress.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking aren't you?" asked Maya.

Miles raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"I'm on about the dresses!" Maya clapped her hands.

"What am I thinking then?"

"The red dress is much more better!"

"Well," Miles stuttered, "I like it, especially how the pleats remind me off..." He grabbed onto his silky cravat.

Crawling to Miles, Maya grabbed him saying, "I like it for that reason as well."


	34. Stars

Title: Stars  
Rating: G  
Pairing: Regina x Vera  
Prompt: Pairings that never happened

Stars

It took a lot of effort for Vera to visit the Berry Big circus. Her nails scratched her teeth. She held her sketchbook in her hand because she felt so lost without it. She didn't think she would find such a girlfriend like Regina. Regina sparkled in delight like a starry sky. They both had one thing in common: their fathers were killed when the target was them.

The whole ordeal shook Vera up, but at the same time she felt free. Regina on the other hand remained as perky as ever.

"Which star do you think is your Daddy?" Regina asked with innocent sapphire eyes glowing at her.

"star?" Vera asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh you see, Daddy said whenever people die, they become a star," said Regina. "You see Vera," Regina held Vera's hand as she continued with: "our daddies are both stars in the sky. One day we'll be stars too."

"I think we are... already stars then," Vera mouthed. "Is that weird?"

"No not at all," objected Regina. "WHAT YOU SAID WAS SO CUTE!" Without warning, she kissed her cheek. Vera gasped and remained silent with blushing cheeks. Regina giggled back with her fingers tangled in Vera's blue hair. "Our daddies will be so proud of us Vera!"


	35. Snowed In

Title: Snowed In  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Lana x Iris  
Prompt: Guys, it _snowed_ here today D: It didn't stick but... wow. Winter's a-comin'! I'd like to see a bunch of characters (your choice) completely snowbound at Hazakurain due to a freak blizzard. What do they do? What kind of issues between different characters get resolved, or get aggravated? How awesome is Bikini? Pairings optional and up to anon (I will love you forever if you throw in some Lana/Iris, though 3)

Snowed In

They were all snowed in. It was a good thing Bikini had given Iris, Lana and Machi all blankets. The three of them were snuggled up together with three cups of hot lemon tea besides them. Meanwhile, Bikini lit up each and every candle she could find. The room became much lighter, but it was still chilly. Machi gritted his teeth and held onto Lana as if his life depended on it. Iris gave her blanket up and wrapped it around the blonde teen.

Machi Tobaye was Lana's long lost son. And Iris had been Lana's secret lover and best friend. Iris finally felt a sense of home at last. Machi also felt like the child she never had and she knew Bikini would be a wonderful grandma figure to him. And Bikini couldn't look the temple by herself, no. Iris still wanted to stay here. She thought it was a shame Ema was still working.

There Iris was, stuck in the temple with her beloved family.

"Mama I still cold," Machi mumbled. His father, Damon Gant had blackmailed Lana to give the child up. He then dumped him at Borginia. Gant had passed his love for playing the organ down to Machi, who was now a popular pianist. But it was only until after the Machi was found not guilty of murder, Lana had discovered him. Klavier had commented that Machi and Lana had the same smile and that Machi's glistening eyes were the same as Lana's.

They got the maternity test and it proved that Lana Skye was Machi's son. Machi wasn't used to cold weathers like the frost outside. His world had always been sunny and rich. The three of them had all been accomplices to murder, some time in their life. Iris was just being co-operative, Lana didn't want Ema to go down for murder and Machi was desperate for money. But they all forgave each other's sins. Lana had cradled Machi like a baby in her arms -- because he was her baby.

"Here Machi," Iris said taking her cloak off. "This should keep you warm." She wrapped her head cloth around Machi and he almost looked like an angel.

"Thanks Iris."

"It's lovely to see you three getting along so well," Bikini said as she smiled with the odd tears down her cheek. It should all calm down in a little while and hopefully you guys will get to make snowmans hahaha!"

Machi slept as Lana and Iris held hands.


	36. String Of Lovers

Title: String Of Lovers  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Various Franzy pairings.  
Prompt: Franziska/Edgeworth or Franziska/Godot or Franziska/Shi-Long Lang or Franziska/Adrian. Your choice, anons.

String Of Lovers

Franziska was perfect. And had lost her virginity at the tender age of thirteen. The same age she became a prosecutor. Now her age had doubled, she knew how foolish it was to give it away at an age where she was still developing. She couldn't believe she let guys touch her with the horrible zits she had to suffer with at puberty. She had kept her libido hidden from the family to keep her reputation. The only time she had ever got caught was when her adoptive brother, Miles Edgeworth walked into her losing her virginity to Damon Gant. He made Miles join in and made him keep quiet about it.

After losing her virginity, she felt a desire to top Miles in every shape or form. But the night afterwards, he was gone. She loathed and loved him ever since.

Being a tough prosecutor and school work piled a lot of pressure on Franziska. The only free time she ever had was sleep. Still she wanted to know why Miles left so suddenly. She missed him. She had to rely on comfort sex and the taste of victory for fun times. She never got a sexual transmitted diseases or anything grizzly like that, she was too careful and used the right sort or protection that worked to perfection.

She had hidden this from so many of her other lovers; like bitter Godot, deceiving Dahlia, wimpy Iris, playful Maya, hunk Klavier, another hunk Shi-Long Lang, bouncy April May, liar Luke, and the foolish Phoenix Wright, although Phoenix was just a foolish one night stand.

If Franziska was a prostitute, she could have been a millionaire. Taking that lifestyle into a fierce career would be something she wouldn't want. She was happy to be a prosecuting princess, who was both a womanizer and a man-eater.


	37. So Long My Cheese Sandwich

Title: So Long My Cheese Sandwich  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Kristoph can't enjoy his sandwich

So Long My Cheese Sandwich

Kristoph used to love cheese sandwiches. Ever since he was little, he would take Klavier for a Sunday Picnic and cheese sandwiches in whole grain bread was always there. Their hair tone matched the bright shade of yellow of cheese.

Twenty years later, he couldn't even bare to look at the thing. It was Zak's fault: everything was Zak's fault. Kristoph will never forgive that weird magician for helping his insanity and for shitting on his cheese sandwich.

So he gave it to Klavier instead, who still loved them.

"So long my cheese sandwich," Kristoph whispered to himself.


	38. Am I The Only One With Intelligence Here

Title: Am I The Only One With Intelligence Here?  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Anon was recently playing TaT and realized everyone in Turnabout Recipe is pretty stupid for thinking that Tigre is Phoenix. How could you possibly think a person with Brooklyn accent, paper badge and insane tan is Feenie? So anon wants a fanfic with Edgey as the prosecutor of the case, where Tigre is impersonating Phoenix and how the court just naively accepts that Phoenix suddenly got a tan and accent.

Am I The Only One With Intelligence Here?

"The court is now in session for the trial of Maggey Bryde." Judge Udgey nodded as he banged the gavel.

"The prosecution is ready," Edgeworth announced as he stared to the strange man in the defense bench.

"Mr. Wright..."

"Youse talkin' to me?"

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready Mama Mia!" The brooklyn accent and crazy tan stood out. It was obvious it wasn't Phoenix Wright.

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth cried out. "Am I the only one with intelligence here?"

"Everything all right Mr. Edgeworth?" Judge Udgey asked.

"That is not Phoenix Wright!" Edgeworth pointed at the man.

"What the fuck ya talkin bout gayboy I am the only and only Phoenix Wright. YEAAAAAAAAAAH."

"By the way, that paper badge is lame." Egdeworth's pointed finger swayed over and over again.

"!"


	39. Dirty Minx

Title: Dirty Minx  
Rating: X  
Prompt: Loli! Dahlia x Valerie

Dirty Minx

"You like this right?" asked a twelve year old Dahlia Hawthorne. She tickled her own nipples as one of her index fingers crawled inside her vagina. She giggled again. "Don't you wanna play with me Valerie? I hate being horny you know."

"I can't do it..." Valerie replied despite the huge feeling of arousal she got. She couldn't do it because Dahlia was her sister and she loved her. Not in a sexual way though. And she was too young, much too young. No matter how much she wanted Dahlia's body on top of hers. No matter how much she yearned to caress her delicate skin. She felt guilty enough stealing her virginity whilst drunk.

Never again.

But her naked step-sister just stripped Valerie of her clothes and she couldn't do anything. It could no longer be rape because Valerie desired it.


	40. Fantasies In A Cell

Title: Fantasies In A Cell  
Rating: M  
Prompt/Pairing: Kristoph x Phoenix x Apollo

Fantasies In A Cell

_Apollo and I will be heading for your cell tonight.  
We could have some fun and some poker, whatever you want.  
be prepared for some wildness.  
Phoenix _

A note from his former lover from last week. Nothing that eventful happened, but he did enjoy himself. But he read that note every time he wanted to fantasize about being back with Phoenix.

Kristoph was more than prepared for it, he was desperate for it. The showers were appalling: ridiculously cold. His younger brother, Klavier was too busy playing his guitar to care about him. He was far too soft to be a prosecutor. He hated them all, they should have all stood up for him, but they didn't. He was running and was scared.

His fear, anger and pride all turned into a strong lust. He wasn't getting any in prison and it sucked not waking up to the sight of a beautiful women or a beautiful man. He didn't want to do it in prison either, who knows where all them disco sticks have been. No, he wasn't going to do it without the right protection from sexual transmitted diseases. That would surely be the end of him if he got them.

So he waited for them in his cell, naked and horny.

He was determined to dominate Phoenix this time. Revenge rape seemed to encourage his erection. With the fresh and wonderful Apollo with them, they could a love sandwich. He suspected Apollo would be timid at first, perhaps unwilling, then he would really get into it. Kristoph had a feeling that he would a virgin - suspected since he is a young man.

He had a fantastic dream last night about kissing Wright whilst Apollo gave him a blowjob. The feeling itself was fantastic.

Dreams like that don't come often.

But Fantasies can be controlled by the holder anytime. Whilst he touched himself he thought about that dream and began to take it further.

He wished they would both come back to his cell again. He'd love to get them both drunk, and fragile to help place his fantasies come true. The kinks and possibilities are endless. If Miss Von Karma was kind enough to lend him a whip, he would use it on both of them. His hands swayed up on down on his penis, whilst his balls jived endlessly.

He let out careless moans, talking to himself as if Apollo and Phoenix were in the room, giving him pleasure right now. He would cherish this fantasy as long as he lived, until the day he died. If only he could do it right now, all the time.

"SHUT UP AND SLEEP MISTER GAVIN!"

He was close to an orgasm. Ignoring the prison officer's request to shut up. He fapped harder, faster and stronger. Until love fluids squirted onto the wall, then the remains dribbled. He felt as if a good dream had just ended. As he went to sleep, he hoped that he would dream of it much more again.

He was a sucker for threesomes.


	41. Not Ready For Satan

Title: Not Ready For Satan  
Rating: T  
Prompt/Pairing: Adrian x Manfred

Not Ready For Satan

She never thought she would become a good friend to Franziska Von Karma, the daughter of the legendary prosecutor, Manfred Von Karma. The man was currently nowhere to be found. Since his downfall, he became nothing more than a member of death row, waiting for Satan to take him in. The beautiful blonde was the one that helped him escape. At the time, she thought Franziska would like to see her father one more time.

Anyway, Manfred had wrote Adrian a charming letter of persuasion; filled with sugar-like compliments and explicit plans to meet up in prison and help him escape.

"Everything had been sorted out!" Manfred told her. In return he gave Adrian a kiss on the cheek and a fondle of her chest. Not everyday the father of your friend attempts to flirt with you and do it so well. She had gotten a lot stronger than this and she wondered why she didn't resist his advances, but embraced them.

Their clothes slowly became a pool of material and they were as bare as a shiny sword. Manfred's cock of wisdom had erected in motivation. He trusted into her as if it was the last thing he was going to do. Rapid thrusts, loud screams and intensive orgasms, yet to come.

She started to enjoy the company of older men, she had a one night stand with Shelly De Killer to get Celeste's suicide note back. The assassin was a gentleman in the bedroom and Manfred reminded her of that night of bizarre sex.

Adrian was sure that Manfred was not ready for Satan just yet. Maybe after a few more nights with Adrian and he will be.


	42. The Two Ronnies

Title: The Two Ronnies  
Rating: T  
Prompt: RON RON RON RON RON RON RON RON RON RON

The Two Ronnies

Ron Weasley found it unbelievable how his wife's friend Dessie DeLite can spend so much money in one day. He felt a bit sorry for her husband, Ron DeLite and understood his motives for his old stealing ways.

"You've spent thirty thousand dollars in one day Dessie," Hermione complained. It was the first time Ron ever heard his wife moan about someone else's money.

"My good old Ronnie will sort it all out for me won't you?" Dessie patted Ron DeLite and kissed his cheek as she spoke.

Ron DeLite's wimpy reply was,"yeah."

Dessie and Hermione went out for the night, leaving the two Rons in the room on his own. DeLite started to play with Weasley's ginger hair and sniffing his top. Weasley gave a foul expression on his face and gasped. "What are you doing Ron?" he whispered.

"PLEASE DON'T YELL AT MEEEEEE!" DeLite squealed. He gave Weasley a tight hug. "I was just admiring your hair and smell."

"Just so you know I'm not gay," Ron quickly whispered. An aura of panic flowed in his blood, and he wished that his wife would come and save him. DeLite kissed Weasley's cheek and it caused in to go in frozen mode.

"Please..." DeLite whimpered. "Please," he said again, getting louder as he repated his words. DeLite continued playing around with Weasley in hope to get a response. In he yelled out, "PLEASE DON'T IGNORE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Weasley didn't want to do this, but he had to. He got out his wand and shouted out, "Petrificus Totalus!"

With that DeLite froze and fell on the bed. His wife and Dessie were gonna kill him, but it was in self defence.


	43. The Two Ronnies Meet

Title: The Two Ronnies Meet  
Rating: T  
Prompt: RON RON RON RON RON RON RON RON RON RON

The Two Ronnies Meet

"I am Ron DeLite," Ron said.

"Hi Ronda, I'm Ron," Ron Weasley shook hands with the woman, whore wore a green and yellow jacket and had cinnamon buns as hair. She was quite pretty. "This is girlfriend, Hermione." Hermione smiled at Ron DeLite and then gave a weird look at Ron. "You're quite a good looking lady."

"PLEASE DON'T CALL ME A !" Ron DeLte yelled out. "MY NAME IS RONNNNNNNNNN! RON DELIIIIIIIIITE!"

"Oh sorry, hi Ron, I'm Ron," Weasley laughed.


	44. ThunderComfort

Title: Thunder-Comfort  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Franziska's scared of thunder and Maya comforts her.

Thunder-Comfort

Franziska tried to pull away, looking to the sound of the shocked voice. Maya stood in the doorway, hands over her lips. "It's okay," Maya whispered. "You can share my bed to make you feel better."

"You will?" Franziska asked. The thunder's voice cracked and she screamed squeezing onto Maya. She cried harder and Maya cradled her like a baby.

"Don't worry Franziska," Maya whispered kissing her forehead. "I used to get scared in thunderstorms too. Mia used to cheer me up by drawing burgers for me. That's how I first started loving burgers so much."

"How interesting."


	45. Crying For Her Lips

Title: Crying For Her Lips  
Rating: X  
Prompt: h t t p : / / o b j e c t i o n . m r d i c t i o n a r y . n e t / g o . p h p ? n = 3 2 3 0 6 8 4  
Pairing: Klavier x April

Crying For Her Lips

April loved sex with Klavier. He was amazing, she was his toy-boy heaven. Klavier was once filthy rich rock-star. His brother and friend were in prison for murder, and he still works as a prosecutor. She loved his voice, his looks, his clothes, and the way he fucked. The pink bitch was always fond of men with a big vocabulary: Klavier being multi-lingual naturally had an enormous vocabulary.

Even more of a reason to have sex with him.

"Damn I'm Gut," Klavier whispered to the lady with pink hair. She giggled and played with his hair. "You agree with me right, April?" He tickled her nipples for a more sexy response.

"I think you're a god in the bedroom," April chuckled her manicured nails slid inside his shirt as their lips joined together in a lustful embrace. Her heart and breasts bounced with his chains.

His shirt fell to the ground as April massaged his chest. Tip-toeing fingers digging into his abs, and sliding down to his belt. She knelt down and could see a throbbing erection poke out of his jeans. It was crying out for freedom, and yearning out for her lips.

"You be a good boy for April May," April requested in a seductive tone that drove Klavier crazy.


	46. The Battle For The Poker Card

Title: **The Battle For The Poker Card**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: A result from Drabble-Matic.  
Pairing: Maya x Franziska

**The Battle For The Poker Card**

Poledancing, Franziska bounced her poker card. She had been busy with the poker card for hours and now wanted nothing more than a sparkly cuddle or a big massage from her lover Maya.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her light Maya appeared at the door, grinning Happily.

"Put down the poker card," Maya said fully. "Unless you want me to bounce that poker card on your belly."

Franziska put down the poker card. She was dark. She had never seen Maya so bum before and it made her gold.

Maya picked up the poker card, then withdrew an egg from her finger. "Don't be so dark," Maya said with a bum grimace. "A Stanbabes bit my lip this morning, and everything became orgasmic. Now with this poker card and this egg I can fully rule the world!"

Franziska clutched her pretty lip passionately. This was her lover, her light Maya, now staring at her with a bum finger.

"Fight it!" Franziska shouted. "The Stanbabes just wants the poker card for his own light devices! He doesn't love you, not the sparkly way I do!"

Franziska could see Maya trembling passionately. Franziska reached out her belly and touched Maya's finger fully. She was light, so light, but she knew only her pretty love for Maya would break the Stanbabes's spell.

Sure enough, Maya dropped the poker card with a thunk. "Oh, Franziska," she squealed. "I'm so sparkly, can you ever forgive me?"

But Franziska had already moved poledancing. Like a hungry monster waiting to eat a thousand easter eggs., she pressed her belly into Maya's finger. And as they fell together in an orgasmic fit of love, the poker card lay on the floor, gold and forgotten.


	47. Th Sparkly stranger

Title: The Sparkly Stranger  
Rating: T  
Prompt: A result from Drabble-Matic.  
Pairing: Maya x Franziska

**The Sparkly Stranger**

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Franziska strode along the path, making for Happy Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Dark Poker card, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Belly.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her floral egg just in time to face the gold woman who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The woman struck fully, and Franziska barely raised her egg to meet the attack. They fought long and tingly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Franziska found herself forced to one knee, the woman's egg pressed to her pretty finger. "I am Maya of Happy Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Dark Poker card. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you Sleeping on the sand."

But Franziska had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her egg with a twist, overpowered Maya and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Franziska said, looking down upon her.

Maya's lip shimmered like flowers in the wind. "I have underestimated you, Franziska. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Franziska's desire was enflamed. Her finger throbbed and all her thoughts were to bounce Maya like a Bellossom. Franziska caressed Maya's cute lip and she responded. They came together gracefully, and their joining was as pink as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet chocolate!" Franziska groaned and bounced Maya as Happily as she could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Franziska said. "That's where I put the Dark Poker card for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed badly on the grass, forgetful of all but their light love. "We will stay together forever," Maya said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Belly never got the Dark Poker card and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.


	48. Saliva Shoes

Title: Saliva Shoes  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Sal x Manfred.  
Pairing: Sal x Manfred

**Saliva Shoes**

He had enough of the man pulling disgusting faces at Franziska. No monsters shall ever mock or seduce any Von Karma; Manfred would not allow it. He was obese, stank the place out with urine, fish and odors of sweat and it looked like he hadn't showered in years. "Look you vile pig!" Manfred snapped. He marched up the man then stood back, raising his voice. "If you think you're going to get your slimy hands on my daughter you can think again. Unlike them other bratty whores out there, my daughter has self-respect and honor for her family."

"LAWLS!" spat out the man. Exploding with laughter, he rolled to the floor grabbing Manfred's shoes. Without a second thought, Mandred kicked his face and Sal's face banged on the window.

"How dare you spit on my shoe," Manfred barked. "These shoes are now ruined by your germs and saliva." Manfred glared intensely. "Do you have any idea how much these shoes cost?"

"SAL MANELLA THINKS Half a dollar. LAWLS! ROFL! OMG!" Sal bubbled out.

"FORTY-THOUSAND DOLLARS THESE SHOES COST!" Manfred screeched. "THESE ARE THE BEST SHOES IN THE WORLD!"

"They'll be out my bum soon," Sal giggled, he licked Manfred's leg and tried to pull them down in the airport.

"I DEMAND SECURITY!" Manfred roared.

"GET OF MY FATHER YOU FOOLISH SLUG!" Franziska screamed throwing her stick at Sal's head and carelessly whipping him. Manfred joined in with her.


	49. Sparkly Lang Syne

Title: **Sparkly Lang Syne**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Maya x Franziska

******Sparkly Lang Syne**  


Franziska sipped greatly at her drink and stood sparkly behind a bubblegum. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel pink and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how floral her lip got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Franziska knew very well why she was at the party: to see Maya.

Ah, Maya. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her gold arm made Franziska's heart beat like flowers in the wind.

But tonight everyone was masked. Franziska peered fully through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Maya. There, she thought, the woman over by the whip, the cute one with the Bellossom mask. It had to be Maya. No one else could look so pretty, even in a Bellossom mask.

She began to walk Franziska's way and Franziska started to panic. What if she actually _talked_ to Franziska?

Maya came right up to Franziska and Franziska thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," Maya said gracefully. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the chocolate," Franziska said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so _dark_.

Just then, a fuzzy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Franziska's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Maya might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Maya swept Franziska into her arms, bent her Sleeping on the sand, and kissed Franziska badly, slipping her the tongue and groping her finger.

Franziska could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out tingly and pulled Maya's mask off her face. It _was_ Maya! "I knew it was you," Franziska said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Maya said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Franziska watched her go. She would be right back, Franziska was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.


	50. A Bubblegum In Time

Title: **A Bubblegum In Time**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

******A Bubblegum In Time**  


**  
**On a tasty and floral morning, Jean sat Sleeping on the sand. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nose ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Iris to love someone with a sparkly mouth?

Gracefully, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a pink pretty juice, all on a summer's day. I wish my Iris would bounce me, in her own fluffy way..."

"Do you?" Iris sat down beside Jean and put her hand on Jean's hips. "I think that could be arranged."

Jean gasped tingly. "But what about my sparkly mouth?"

"I like it," Iris said kindly. "I think it's fuzzy."

They came together and their kiss was like flowers in the wind.

"I love you," Jean said greatly.

"I love you too," Iris replied and bounced her.

They bought a Bellossom, moved in together, and lived fully ever after.


	51. The Adventure Of Bellossom

Title: **The Adventure Of Bellossom**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

******The Adventure Of Bellossom**  


**  
**Jean and Iris were out for a light Valentine's walk Sleeping on the sand. As they went, Iris rested her hand on Jean's nose. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so tasty, Jean was filled with sparkly dread.

"Do you suppose it's fuzzy here?" he asked greatly.

"You pink silly," Iris said, tickling Jean with her chocolate. "It's completely pretty."

Just then, a sweet Bellossom leapt out from behind a juice and bounced Iris in the hips. "Aaargh!" Iris screamed.

Things looked fluffy. But Jean, although he was floral, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a bubblegum and, like flowers in the wind, beat the Bellossom kindly until it ran off. "That will teach you to bounce innocent people."

Then he clasped Iris close. Iris was bleeding fully. "My darling," Jean said, and pressed his lips to Iris's mouth.

"I love you," Iris said tingly, and expired in Jean's arms.

Jean never loved again.


	52. The DragonPie Prince

Title: **The Dragon-Pie Prince**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

******The Dragon-Pie Prince**  


Iris was walking through a sweet meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a fluffy little Dragon-pie lying under a tree.

Iris skipped over to see the dear thing and was fuzzy to find that he was hurt! A juice had pierced his pretty little hips and he whimpered tingly with the pain.

"My pink little friend," Iris said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the juice, as greatly as she could. The Dragon-pie cried out and Iris's heart ached, like a bees pollinating flowers. "You'll be all right," Iris whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Jean and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Jean up in her arms, Iris carried him home and made a bed for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Iris nursed Jean, cleaning his hips and feeding him Chocolate-brand Dragon-pie chow.

On the eighth night, Jean climbed into bed with Iris. He burrowed under the covers and fully licked Iris's nose. It made Iris giggle and she cuddled close to Jean, stroking his mouth and singing kindly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Iris hurried home so she could curl up with Jean. It gave her a floral feeling whenever Jean licked her nose.

Then one night, Jean looked up at Iris and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a sparkly prince."

Iris screamed gracefully, she was so surprised. How could a Dragon-pie talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Jean said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Iris said and kissed Jean on his mouth. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a sparkly prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Jean," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Iris said.

"See?" Jean said and showed Iris the scar from the juice on his hips. Then he kissed Iris and they tumbled Sleeping on the sand and did a lot of very tasty things, some of them involving a light honey.

"I love you," Jean said when they were done. Iris clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Jean had stashed away.

And if Jean didn't know about Iris's visits to the Dragon-pie sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.


	53. Iris and Jean By William Shakespear

Title: **Jean And Iris By William Shakespear**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

**Jean And Iris By William Shakespear**

**  
****Iris and Jean**  
by William Shakespeare

_Enter Iris_

_Jean appears above at a window_

**Iris:**  
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the honey, and Jean is the Dragon-pie.  
Arise, sparkly Dragon-pie, and lick the tasty juice.  
See, how he leans his mouth upon his nose!  
O, that I were a glove upon that nose,  
That I might touch that mouth!

**Jean:**  
O Iris, Iris! wherefore art thou Iris?  
What's in a name? That which we call a hips  
By any other name would smell as fluffy  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a bees pollinating flowers"  
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove floral.

**Iris:**  
Swain, by yonder tasty juice I swear  
That tips Sleeping on the sand the light chocolate--

**Jean:**  
O, swear not by the juice, the fuzzy juice,  
That gracefully changes in its sweet orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise sweet.  
Sweet, pink night! A thousand times pink night!  
Parting is such pretty sorrow,  
That I shall say pink night till it be morrow.

_Exit above_

**Iris:**  
Sleep dwell upon thy mouth, peace in thy nose!  
Would I were sleep and peace, so fully to rest!  
kindly will I to my sparkly hips's cell,  
Its help to lick, and my fluffy hips to tell.


	54. Tasty Lang Syne

Title: **Tasty Lang Syne**  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

**Tasty Lang Syne**

Iris sipped fully at her drink and stood tasty behind a juice. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel sparkly and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how light her nose got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Iris knew very well why she was at the party: to see Jean.

Ah, Jean. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his fluffy mouth made Iris's heart beat like a bees pollinating flowers.

But tonight everyone was masked. Iris peered tingly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Jean. There, she thought, the man over by the chocolate, the pink one with the Dragon-pie mask. It had to be Jean. No one else could look so pretty, even in a Dragon-pie mask.

He began to walk Iris's way and Iris started to panic. What if he actually _talked_ to Iris?

Jean came right up to Iris and Iris thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," Jean said kindly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the honey," Iris said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so _fuzzy_.

Just then, a sweet voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Iris's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Jean might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Jean swept Iris into his arms, bent her Sleeping on the sand, and kissed Iris gracefully, slipping her the tongue and groping her hips.

Iris could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out greatly and pulled Jean's mask off his face. It _was_ Jean! "I knew it was you," Iris said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Jean said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Iris watched him go. He would be right back, Iris was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.**  
**


	55. 1000 Chocolate Dragon Pies

Title: 1000 Chocolate Dragon-Pies  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

**1000 Chocolate Dragon-Pies**

Iris paced greatly back and forth. Fuzzy dread filled her heart. Jean should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. _Oh, my fluffy love,_ Iris thought. _Where could you be?_

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Jean had been taken hostage by Pretty Hips, a supervillain who had the city in a state of sweet terror. Iris fainted dead away, like a bees pollinating flowers.

When she came to, there was a bump on her mouth and the fuzzy dread had returned. "Jean, my pink honey bunny," she cried out tingly. "What is Pretty Hips doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing fully as he licked him in the nose.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Iris remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 chocolate Dragon-pies, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Iris ordered in a supply of chocolate and set to work, folding Dragon-pies until her mouth was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last Dragon-pie when Jean walked in the front door.

"Jean!" Iris screamed and threw herself into Jean's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 chocolate Dragon-pies and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing Sleeping on the sand. She kissed Jean gracefully on the nose.

"Actually," Jean said, pulling away kindly, "I was rescued by the Light Honey. She's a new superhero in town." Jean sighed. "And she's really tasty."

The fuzzy dread came back. "But you're floral to be back here with me, right?"

Jean checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Light Honey for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay sparkly, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Iris choked back a sob and started folding another Dragon-pie. Then she went out and got drunk instead.**  
**


	56. I'm Dreaming Of A Fluffy Christmas

Title: I'm Dreaming Of A Fluffy Christmas  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

**I'm Dreaming Of A Fluffy Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Iris sat tingly Sleeping on the sand, sipping tasty eggnog.

She looked at the floral juice hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Jean had hung it there, just before they looked at each other fully and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's mouth.

If only I hadn't been so sparkly, Iris thought, pouring a pretty amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Jean might not have got so light and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a fuzzy tear and held her nose in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a pink voice lifted kindly up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a fluffy Christmas_

_Just like a bees pollinating flowers_

Iris ran to the door. It was Jean, looking sweet all over with snow.

"I missed you gracefully," Jean said. "And I wanted to lick your mouth again."

Iris hugged Jean and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Jean said.

"I think so too," Iris said and they licked each other's mouth until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Dragon-pie hips and lived greatly until Iris got drunk again.**  
**


	57. The Other Tasty Stranger

Title: The Other Tasty Stranger  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Bruto x Thalassa

**The Other Tasty Stranger**

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Bruto Cadaverini strode along the path, making for Sexy Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Glistening Chicken, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Breast.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his golden sausage just in time to face the slimy woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck dark, and Bruto Cadaverini barely raised his sausage to meet the attack. They fought long and powerful until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Bruto Cadaverini found himself forced to one knee, the woman's sausage pressed to his pleasant mouth. "I am Thalassa Gramarye of Sexy Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Glistening Chicken. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you singing."

But Bruto Cadaverini had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his sausage with a twist, overpowered Thalassa Gramarye and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Bruto Cadaverini said, looking down upon her.

Thalassa Gramarye's bum shimmered like the sea. "I have underestimated you, Bruto Cadaverini. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Bruto Cadaverini's desire was enflamed. His mouth throbbed and all his thoughts were to bite Thalassa Gramarye like a cat. Bruto Cadaverini caressed Thalassa Gramarye's Sparkly bum and she responded. They came together painfully, and their joining was as purple as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet chocolate!" Bruto Cadaverini groaned and biten Thalassa Gramarye as light as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Bruto Cadaverini said. "That's where I put the Glistening Chicken for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed lovingly on the grass, forgetful of all but their iridescent love. "We will stay together forever," Thalassa Gramarye said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Breast never got the Glistening Chicken and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.**  
**


	58. The Battle For The Candy

Title: The Battle For The Candy  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Jean x Iris

**The Battle For The Candy**

In the night, Iris danced her candy. She had been busy with the candy for hours and now wanted nothing more than a devine cuddle or a big massage from her lover Jean.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her wonderful Jean appeared at the door, grinning kindly.

"Put down the candy," Jean said sofly. "Unless you want me to dance that candy on your hips."

Iris put down the candy. She was sparkly. She had never seen Jean so sweet before and it made her yearly.

Jean picked up the candy, then withdrew a cake from his belly. "Don't be so sparkly," Jean said with a sweet grimace. "A kitten bit my fingers this morning, and everything became pink. Now with this candy and this cake I can sofly rule the world!"

Iris clutched her tingly fingers lovingly. This was her lover, her wonderful Jean, now staring at her with a sweet belly.

"Fight it!" Iris shouted. "The kitten just wants the candy for his own wonderful devices! He doesn't love you, not the devine way I do!"

Iris could see Jean trembling lovingly. Iris reached out her hips and touched Jean's belly sofly. She was wonderful, so wonderful, but she knew only her tingly love for Jean would break the kitten's spell.

Sure enough, Jean dropped the candy with a thunk. "Oh, Iris," he squealed. "I'm so devine, can you ever forgive me?"

But Iris had already moved in the night. Like a falling snowflake., she pressed her hips into Jean's belly. And as they fell together in a pink fit of love, the candy lay on the floor, yearly and forgotten.**  
**


	59. I'm Dreaming Of A Black Christmas

Title: I'm Dreaming Of A Black Christmas  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Morgan x Dee

**I'm Dreaming Of A Black Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Morgan sat deadly on the bed, sipping sexy vodka.

She looked at the rainy vase hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Dee had hung it there, just before they looked at each other sexily and then fell into each other's arms and shaked each other's nose.

If only I hadn't been so sparkly, Morgan thought, pouring a fair amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Dee might not have got so sharp and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a golden tear and held her finger in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a graceful voice lifted suddenly up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a black Christmas_

_Just like tomorrow will never arrive._

Morgan ran to the door. It was Dee, looking smoky all over with snow.

"I missed you hurtfully," Dee said. "And I wanted to shake your nose again."

Morgan hugged Dee and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Dee said.

"I think so too," Morgan said and they shaked each other's nose until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted tiger stomach and lived quickly until Morgan got drunk again.**  
**


	60. Iris and Sal by William Shakespeare

Title: Iris and Sal by William Shakespear  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Iris x Sal

******Iris and Sal by William Shakespeare**  


Enter Iris

Sal appears above at a window

Iris:  
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the book, and Sal is the dog.  
Arise, smelly dog, and bite the hard condom.  
See, how he leans his finger upon his hair!  
O, that I were a glove upon that hair,  
That I might touch that finger!

Sal:  
O Iris, Iris! wherefore art thou Iris?  
What's in a name? That which we call a bum  
By any other name would smell as smoky  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like gold fucking a rainbowm."  
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove soft.

Iris:  
Swain, by yonder hard condom I swear  
That tips in the loo the slimy sink--

Sal:  
O, swear not by the condom, the boobilicious condom,  
That horribly changes in its tasty orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise tasty.  
Sweet, sharp night! A thousand times sharp night!  
Parting is such purple sorrow,  
That I shall say sharp night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Iris:  
Sleep dwell upon thy finger, peace in thy hair!  
Would I were sleep and peace, so gracefully to rest!  
suddenly will I to my smelly bum's cell,  
Its help to bite, and my smoky bum to tell.**  
**


	61. Sharp Love

Title: Sharp Love  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Iris x Sal

**Sharp Love**

Iris finished packing. Ever since Sal, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Iris had been tasty.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing biten her, all was hard. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going in the loo to become a slimy sink.

Just then, there was a boobilicious knock at the door. Iris opened it and stood there gracefully for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her hair.

When Iris came to, Sal was holding her bum and looking smelly. "My love," Sal said deeply, "I'm sorry for the purple shock. I've been shipwrecked on a soft island for the last ten years, living like gold fucking a rainbown.. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my finger in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Iris could hardly believe her Sal had returned. "I will always love you, finger or no finger. Besides, you can cover it up with a condom."

They embraced slimily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was smoky.


	62. Battle For The Book

Title: The Battle For The Book  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Iris x Sal

**The Battle For The Book**

In the loo, Iris biten her book. She had been busy with the book for hours and now wanted nothing more than a tasty cuddle or a soft massage from her lover Sal.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her boobilicious Sal appeared at the door, grinning slimily.

"Put down the book," Sal said deeply. "Unless you want me to bite that book on your bum."

Iris put down the book. She was sharp. She had never seen Sal so purple before and it made her slimy.

Sal picked up the book, then withdrew a condom from his finger. "Don't be so sharp," Sal said with a purple grimace. "A dog bit my hair this morning, and everything became smoky. Now with this book and this condom I can deeply rule the world!"

Iris clutched her hard hair horribly. This was her lover, her boobilicious Sal, now staring at her with a purple finger.

"Fight it!" Iris shouted. "The dog just wants the book for his own boobilicious devices! He doesn't love you, not the tasty way I do!"

Iris could see Sal trembling horribly. Iris reached out her bum and touched Sal's finger deeply. She was boobilicious, so boobilicious, but she knew only her hard love for Sal would break the dog's spell.

Sure enough, Sal dropped the book with a thunk. "Oh, Iris," he squealed. "I'm so tasty, can you ever forgive me?"

But Iris had already moved in the loo. Like gold fucking a rainbown., she pressed her bum into Sal's finger. And as they fell together in a smoky fit of love, the book lay on the floor, slimy and forgotten.


	63. The Battle For The Bra

Title: The Battle For The Bra  
Rating: M  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Cammy x Lauren

**The Battle For The Bra**

In the bathroom, Lauren tickled her bra. She had been busy with the bra for hours and now wanted nothing more than a pink cuddle or a big massage from her lover Cammy.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her blue Cammy appeared at the door, grinning blissfully.

"Put down the bra," Cammy said gracefully. "Unless you want me to tickle that bra on your arm."

Lauren put down the bra. She was purple. She had never seen Cammy so yummy before and it made her Juicy.

Cammy picked up the bra, then withdrew a bed from her hair. "Don't be so purple," Cammy said with a yummy grimace. "A cat bit my mouth this morning, and everything became silver. Now with this bra and this bed I can gracefully rule the world!"

Lauren clutched her fuzzy mouth beautifully. This was her lover, her blue Cammy, now staring at her with a yummy hair.

"Fight it!" Lauren shouted. "The cat just wants the bra for his own blue devices! He doesn't love you, not the pink way I do!"

Lauren could see Cammy trembling beautifully. Lauren reached out her arm and touched Cammy's hair gracefully. She was blue, so blue, but she knew only her fuzzy love for Cammy would break the cat's spell.

Sure enough, Cammy dropped the bra with a thunk. "Oh, Lauren," she squealed. "I'm so pink, can you ever forgive me?"

But Lauren had already moved in the bathroom. Like a candle in the wind, she pressed her arm into Cammy's hair. And as they fell together in a silver fit of love, the bra lay on the floor, Juicy and forgotten.


	64. Someone Is Dancing On My Grave

**Title**: Someone Is Dancing On My Grave  
**Characters**: Godot & Kristoph  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Some spoilers.  
**Word count: **277  
**Summary**: Godot finds Kristoph dancing on his grave.  
**Notes:** Inspired by The Dance EP by Within Temptation.

Someone Is Dancing On My Grave

He had to accept that he will never see Mia again. He had to take his love for her to another day. Wherever she was, he will never get through to her, but he would always adore Mia. Godot spent centuries as a ghost in his tomb. No one glanced at this grave no more until this glistening night. He saw feet poking through his grave and standing out from the pitch black. He had no idea who it was, but whoever the ghost was, it was sending shivers down his spine.

He felt the delicate goosebumps that wiggled around making him feel alive again. Godot crawled out of his grave. The sky was painted with stars but the graveyard with covered in white frost. An arm went through his chest where his heart once slept. He flew to the ghost roof and the dancer followed him to the bells.

Godot managed to capture a glimpse of the ghost haunting through him. It was in the shape of a man in a suit with pristine nails and long hair.

"Who are you?" Godot asked.

"Kristoph," the ghost replied. He seemed friendly and twirled in front of him. "Take my hand," Kristoph said. He held his hand and smiled to his peer. "I'll take you to the promised land."

Godot took his hand and the cold darkness melted away into a beautiful floral oasis. Every floating candle was lit and the birds sang in perfect harmony. Godot turned away and said, "this is all to beautiful for my eyes and sinful spirit"

"You give up too easily," Kristoph whispered. "You are now the other half of me."


	65. A Silver Day To Tickle

Title: A Silver Day To Tickle  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Result from drabble-matic.  
Pairing: Maya x Franziska

**A Silver Day To Tickle**

Maya stepped blissfully out into the strict sunshine, and admired Franziska's mouth. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a yummy sight."

Franziska climbed off the bra and walked beautifully across the grass to greet her lover. Maya patted Franziska on the arm and then tried to tickle her greatly, but without success.

"That's all right," Franziska said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not Juicy," Maya. "Not as Juicy as the time we tickled in the bathroom."

Franziska nodded gracefully. "We were purple back in those days."

"Our hairs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Maya said. "Everything seems gold and wild when you're young."

"Of course," Franziska said. "But now we're big, we can still have fun. If we go about it gladly."

"Gladly?" Maya said . "But how?"

"With this," Franziska said and held out a blue card. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to tickle."

Maya swallowed the card at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to tickle gladly. They tickled like animals. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


	66. Opera Date

Title: Opera Date  
Rating: G  
Pairing: Oldbag/Kudo

Opera Date

Wendy and Victor sat in the left wing at box number five in the theater. They held their hands and jiggled their toes. Victor hummed along with the music from _Steel Samurai - The Opera_. Victor had bought it for Wendy's birthday present with the assistance of his niece.

To the pair of them, this was one of the most romantic dates. Wendy had been a strong supporter _Steel Samurai_ and faithfully followed the series. With precious grace, she persuaded Victor to watch all the original seasons of _Steel Samurai _and he loved it. He knew she had a splendid taste in almost everything.

It took him back to the time where Victor was teased as a young boy. He had a rare skin condition that caused his nose to overgrow and swell. When a group of fat boys took him to the ground, the class rep Wendy Oldbag marched towards the boys and told them, "You should spend more time trying to lose weight and less time beating up innocent people. You can start by giving me back my marshmallows."

Victor and Wendy had been in love ever since.

"This is such a wonderful show," Wendy whispered into his ear.

"What makes it even more wonderful is that you're here besides me, my dear." Victor couldn't help but blush. His cheeks matched the color of his nose. Tonight he knew he had to buy some roses and chocolates very soon. He also reminded himself to buy a pair of tissues: her favorite actors always get murdered.


	67. The Last And Final Rap Of Rhoda Teneiro

Title: The Last And Final Rap Of Rhoda Teneiro  
Pairing: Rhoda x Cammy  
Rating: T  
Prompt: Mai Waifu

* * *

Rhoda really wanted to fit into the risqué group of busty rappers. She thought hanging around with them would really impress Cammy, being a busty women herself. At the same time she felt foolish and ridiculous. She didn't really know the group as well as she would like to, she saw them a lot at work.

"So let us hear your rap," the biggest girl requested.

"My rap?" she asked. She raised her eyebrow and closed her eyes.

"Yeah man!" The girl slapped her back and said, "every girl has a rap and the best ones come straight from their heart, sent to the brain and sold by the tongue to express the art. Play it sisters."

Loud music invaded Rhoda's ears, she jumped up and down and shook her head and came out with the first words that came to her mouth.

_Mai waifu is Cammy._  
_She should win a Grammy!_  
_Be good to my lady,_  
_Or I'll tell ya granny!_  
_She's truly fit,_  
_And loves the misfits_  
_she's got epic tits_  
_And a golden clit_  
_Cammy lady,_  
_My number one baby!_  
_Cammy lady,_  
_My number one lady!_  
_We go around the world._  
_you make my heart twirl._  
_I'll give you pearls,_  
_And you make me whirl._  
_I LOVE YOU,_  
_MAI WAIFU!_  
_We're epic us two:_  
_MAI EPIC WAIFU!"_

"You crazy lesbo bitch!" the black girls shouted in unison.

"That was really cute," Cammy told Rhoda. She hugged her from behind making Rhoda's body shake. "I'll guess I'll have to give you some pampering tonight."

"Success," Rhoda thought to herself.


	68. Vampire Violette

Vampire Violette 

All the books Viola read put her to rest on Larry's head.  
She closed her eyes to dream of the good things ahead.  
In her reality she lusted for all things wet and red.  
She wrapped her prey warm in bed.  
She did not wish to kill him, but instead  
Make him the butter of the bread.  
For a male he was quite an airhead,  
And she was spoiled when she was fed.  
It was too soon to want Larry dead,  
For Viola loved everything he said,  
And also the world of kindness she was led  
to create in her head.  
There were no tears to shed.  
No skin to shred.  
Just a dream to be wed  
With passion to spread.


	69. Potato Witch

**Potato Witch**

_The following is an unpublished section from the **Qur'an**_

A red train named Tuomas tumbled down from the sky. Inside the train where jiving potatoes demanding their escape. The driver was going to turn them all into strips of chips and use them to mould the shape of a boy. For the potatoes that were beginning to grow black and soggy, they knew it was the end of all hope, but something that fried their hearts encouraged them to continue on fighting until the bitter end. They refused to give up. Tuomas zoomed into Sahara desert where he was instructed by the driver, Edward Cullen to drive around in large circles until he ran out of energy.

A woman in white appeared in front of the train and halted the train. Tuomas exploded as he heavily sunk in the sand taking the potatoes with it. Once the train had completely sunk, the desert spat the remains of the train. The woman played with her brown hair as she pointed her finger to the sky and Sahara began to drown. The floods reunited the mashed potato lumps and the woman squirted glitter and ash from her hands.

The potato began to glow a flouresent shade of pink. The heavy scent of honey filled the air as the potato raised itself some the sand and formed into a shape of a young boy. The woman held the child in her arms. Tear drops danced on her face. The messy little raindrops crawled onto the child's pale skin who chuckled without reason. The woman's name was Thalassa. Her first son, Apollo had died in a cot-death when Edward Cullen was babysitting him. He burnt the infant to ashes and gave them to Thalassa. She had successfully revived Apollo without trouble. The spell had been broken.

Thalassa knew never to trust a monster again.


	70. Olga Meets Her Mother

**Olga meets her mother**

Olga woke up nice and early to visit her mother in prison. Her mother, Helga had been sent down for five years for forgery and identity theft. Olga had given Wendy Olgbag a parcel of food to compensate what Helga had stolen from her. Olga had seen Wendy many times, she was quite a fussy customer, but was in fact a nice lady if you're in her good books.

It was safe to say that Olga's mother had not been herself these past few years. Not since she lost a game of poker to Wendy Oldbag six months ago. Her mother didn't support her as a musician because she hated metal music. Not once did she pat Olga on the back and say, "You do our family proud."

"Hello mother," Olga called.

Helga sat with her teeth gritted in the visiting room. Olga's mother still had the beard attached under her nose when she was trying to make out that she was a judge in court. She still had her hair shaped in the style of Wendy Oldbag, which surprised Olga. She thought she would be back to her normal self again.

"What do you want?" Olga's mother howled. "You come to bail me out yet?"

"I can't bail you out," Olga admitted.

"Your band is flopping is it?"

"On the contrary, our most recent two albums have met with critical and commercial acclaim."

"Then why won't you bail me out?"

"I need to save money," Olga admitted. "There's a lot of places that I'd love to go to."

"You can at least pay to get this beard off!"

"Mother, I'm sure you can cut it off here."

"They won't let me anywhere near sharp objects."

"Don't they have a barber shop near you?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you go there?"

"Don't like the people there."

Olga hated seeing her mother so distressed. But she couldn't help but laugh in secret. She quickly shook it off and said, "listen, when you were in your prime time as a poker player you used to meet people you hated all the time. It will only a few minutes.

"A few minutes!" Helga shouted. "You're having a laugh. You don't care about me. You've come to brag about how awesome you are."

"Looks like visiting hours will be over soon," Olga said. "I'll visit you sometime next week."

"Goodbye," grouched Helga.


	71. Phoenix Wright's Most Easiest Case

Defense Attorney: Phoenix Wright  
Prosecutor: Winston Payne  
Defendant: Link  
Victim: Princess Zelda  
Cause Of Death: Drowning  
Murder Weapon: Bare first

Turnabout difficulty. Link's lawyer, Phoenix Wright had been up all night thinking how to prove his client innocent. When he took on the case, he thought it was going to be a tough cookie, but as the trial started it just kept on getting easier and easier. At 2:30 in the morning, Phoenix Wright came up with a brilliant theory that could close the case down. He rang up everybody involved with the case and the judge agreed to make an urgent meeting in the court.

The crowd were not as chatty as they once were. They were understandably, quite groggy. The man in the prosecution bench slouched back and gave Phoenix the most miserable nerdy look that he had never seen from anyone else with the exception of extreme nerds from university.

"Now look your honour," Payne moaned. "I demand to know why we've all been summoned here at this hour?"

"I believe the defence has some ground-breaking news," the judge explained.

"Indeed I do," Phoenix announced. Compared to Payne's failure to hide nerves, Phoenix had his shoulders laid back. He knew he had nothing to hide and the fact it was all here right in this very court room had made things even simpler.

"Spill it out then!" the judge spat out.

Phoenix slammed his hands on the desk and said, "This murder never existed."

"WHAT?"

"That's preposterous!" Payne yelled from the top of his voice.

"You don't suspect that Princess Zelda is still alive?" the judge widened his eyes and leaned back on his chair.

"Of course."

"Do you have evidence to prove this?" the judge asked with a wrinkled frown.

"I don't need evidence," Phoenix roared. He pointed at the lady in a pink dress as he declared, "She's in this very room!"

Princess Zelda stood up and waved to everybody. Stunned, the judge shook his head and his eyes met the defendant's. "Because of the circumstance," the judge said, "The court has no choice but to declare Link: NOT GUILTY. Court dismissed." The judge slammed his gavel and advised everybody to rest for the rest of the morning.


End file.
